Dear God,

Excerpts from actual letters children wrote to “the lord”:

“It rained our whole vacation and my father is mad! he said some really bad things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway,
-Your Friend (but I'm not going to tell you who I am)”

“Who draws the lines around the countries?”

“I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that ok?”

“Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.”

“I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.”

“My brothers told me about being born, but it doesn't sound right. They are just kidding, aren't they?”

Edited: February 28th, 2002

xxx NC-17 xxx

If ya dig erotica…
This is the hottest story I have read in a looooooong time!!!! It's rather lengthy, but DAMN *fans self*

Edited: February 27th, 2002

On Legal Speed

I curled up in bed almost as soon as I got home from work yesterday and slept the whole night thru. Whew, glad I remembered to set my alarm beforehand! I feel pretty alright this morning. I could have dozed even more though, sad!
Nevertheless, I have become the coffee monster again today. I swore off the stuff at the advice of my doc several months ago because it was making me feel as if I'd been repeatedly kicked in the stomach. Eeek! I was afraid I has an ulcer or something. I'm weaning myself back onto it gradually. I haven't had more than two cups in a day yet, so you can pat me on the head and tell me what a good girl I am now. ;)
No one wants to be around me after I'm caffinated. I turn into The Great Cornholio lol. I talk a mile a minute (about nothing), can't sit still, think everything is funny and my mode of transportation becomes skipping or galloping. Gawd, I love coffee!!! How could I possibly stay away entirely?!

Edited: February 27th, 2002

A Tori moment in a winter wonderland

If only it could snow when it's 70 degrees. It is so beautiful!
There's an aire of peacefulness as the thick flakes flutter. But the chill, so cold your bones hurt, flesh goes goosebumpy, and body shakes, is too much for me. And seeing the aftermath of oozing mounds of grey slush and once fluffy white snow blackend by tire prints is like a tight, quick squeeze to my heart.
I remember huddling [or clinging] to keep warm outside along the canal with the one who was once more important to me than any thing else in the world (yes, a destructive, unhealthy relationship which is long gone) while we watched it all come down and blanket everything in sight. Our noses brushed. Our wet icy lips somehow found themselves pressed together. In and out- we breathed together, wholly. In the pure magick of the moment all else was forgotten. We were the only two things that existed for a sliver of time.
I believe now, that kiss was our kiss goodbye- a wordless apology for things better left unsaid, and all those words we both longed to hear, but never uttered. (“Can't forget the things you never said… long days like these start me thinking…”) I'm sorry, you're sorry- we're both so very sorry for everything. We never recaptured that moment of intimacy, and the bond was soon severed. Winter takes me back in time.

Edited: February 26th, 2002

Tattered Prattling

Extensions are g-o-n-e. The highlight shade is exactly that of a Red-Violet crayon. If the fading is tolerable, I might go ahead and use it as all over colour. The manufacturer doesn't reccommend it, but the bleach used is 40 vol, so… we'll see… I hate the cut right now- too short. Not into my bangs straight across either. Thank _insert deity here_ that my hair grows fast. I purchased some Biosilk (silk therapy by farouk systems)products to use also. Met a cool as hell photographer @ the salon. He's hip to my Tousled Elegance shoot concept- sprawling all over concrete in the rain wearing soaking wet evening attire and smeared makeup hehe. I wanna wait for warmer weather though.It's a gorgeous day here today, however- high near 60. Tonite snow is in the forecast!! WTF?! I have to buy a swimsuit that is appropriate for going to the country club with Boyfriend and his Lil Girl (LOL @ the idea of me in a country club). *grumbles* My pink zebra print thong string bikini won't cut it, heh. Basic black one piece is in order, I suppose. How very blah.
I think I'll pick up the new Bad Religion, Teenage Fanclub, and maybe LeTigre releases at lunch. I want to fiddle with another journal layout this week, and dare I order my spring wardrobe too? Just finished a weekend and can't wait for the next. Gah, no more Mondays!!!
***editted 2/25/02 6pm EST ***

Edited: February 25th, 2002

Which do you want 1st…

the good news or the bad?
Let's go with good…
Prince is playing next month. I shelled out almost $80 to see him a few years ago and it was worth every penny. That man is amazing. Not only can he play any instrument on the stage, but he can play them all *well*! It's only $50 this time around. I think I will shell out again.
Now the bad…
My Aunt died. I don't know how/why yet, but we're having a family gathering Sunday. Eeeie thing is, I was just thinking about her this week and how despite us living nearby eachother I hadn't seen her in years. I was going to call her and ask to have lunch. Guess I can't do that now. We weren't exactly “close” but hell, I liked her. Fuck… Shit.. Damn… is all I can say about it. She was my Fathers last living relative (other than my sister/his daughter and myself [duh]) so I wonder how he'll be.

Edited: February 22nd, 2002

Open Wide

I got a reminder note about my small balance still due to my dentist. No prob, I just got paid today. But it did get me thinking about my mouth.
About 3 years ago someone curbed me- American History X style. They played me, made me think they wanted to be friends and hang out. They got me talking about my sexuality and religion and pretended to be interested and accepting until the opportunity came to bash my fucking face. Two of my front teeth were shattered almost completely away, leaving barely enough enamel to afix a crown to, but the dentist somehow managed and they look alright. Scary shit.
My gums are my main concern nowadays. They don't look bad, but they really are in terrible shape. The last time I had a cleaning the dentist had to stop mid way and reschedule me for another time to resume because I was bleeding so badly he couldn't see my teeth anymore. That next time he injected medicine between each tooth and prescribed a medicinal mouthwash for me. And, of course, there's a river of blood every time I brush or floss. It doesn't hurt though, thank _insert diety here_.
As a kid I had braces for and year and a half. My sister had them for NINE years and had to wear head gear the whole duration! My brother has flawless pearly whites- no cavities, no problems EVER. It figures that the middle child would have middle of the road teeth, eh? Once my braces came off my smile was fabu! Such a relief after hardly ever smiling for almost two years! I did, however, eventually develope a slight diastin, though not nearly the magnitude of David Letterman's lol I've actually been told it's “cute” …not sure if I should wretch or say thanks ;) *signs check* I think I should get another cleaning soon, just to be on the safe side. There's a small fortune in this mouth.

Edited: February 22nd, 2002

Fabulashous

I'm listening to the construction workers (who drive classic cars woohoo) hammering on my favourite lunch joint. The sign says “Closed For Remodeling. Will Re-Open 12/01.” Um… I think I bitched about this here before- almost 2 months ago. They hadn't even started on the project until it was already supposed to have been open again. WTF? I have been lusting their massive Greek salad and perfectly browned pita bread. *cocks head @ contractors* WHAT is taking so long?
A couple of phone calls and IM's from Boyfriend and all is well again. No one has called the office yet today and we aren't swamped. Ahh… *relaxes- finally* There's plenty of time to play online. Um, but, I think I have a problem with shopping. It makes me feel better. I get some kooky rush from it. I can't say I'm a shopaho… oh gawd, I just can't say it! lol I must snag that perfect little black dress, the “right” shoes for every occassion, and don't even get me started on denium…
ACK, I have become my clothes! “You're not your fucking khakis.” Wait- maybe it's just the best way for me to say something and share something about myself without having to open my mouth. *wails pathetically about being misunderstood hehe* Yeah.
I had a nice lil convo with Cyn last night. She shares another of my addictions- cosmetics! It's always fun to chat it up about that! We are both part of Glamour Girlies as well, so is Carol, but she never IM's me :P *hint, hint*
Eh, time to give the coffeemaker some lovin'.

Edited: February 21st, 2002

All that glitters is only gold plated

The Newcastle and the bath did distract my anti-everything thoughts and improve my mood last night. Pruning up from being in it so long did not, heh.
I can pinpoint rude clients @ work as a cause for my blues. You'd think they would figure out that being nice is the best way to get what they want, rather than condescending, sighing, arguing, and snipping. It IS funny when they get so irate they begin to stutter though :) A person can only take so much shit from others in one day! This country needs Siesta. We'd truly benefit from it.
Otherwise, I guess I do miss Boyfriend more than I was willing to admit. I don't mind time-sharing with his daughter and even the bands (he's down to only 3 regularly and 1 sit-in now!), but that's just it… I want to share his time, not get the leftover scraps here and there as an after thought. I can't “blame” him. He doesn't even realize he's doing it. I hope he's not unknowingly setting himself up to be fucked around on. *frets* When I get bored/lonely I get reckless/thoughtless/careless.
Oh, my extensions come off in a few days (Saturday to be exact), and now that I am committed to the appointment they are really bugging me. If I weren't in need of cut and colour I'd go ahead and take em off myself immediately, but I'll play the waiting game. Rawr.

Edited: February 20th, 2002

Intersecting

No matter how much I sleep, it is never enough! I need a good 14 hours uninterrupted.
I don't know what's with me today, but I am so down, so cynical and so… snappish. I can find fault in absolutely ANYthing. Could be the weather… rainy, grey, windy. *le sigh* I know I miss Boyfriend. I need some sort of pick-me-up, but I don't want to go anywhere or do anything that forces me to be around people. I don't like people. Er… you all are excluded of course ;) I think a beer or glass of wine would do me some good (but that would involve circumstances I just said I want to avoid, eh?), and a long steaming bubble bath.
I feel… defeated. The V-day flowers on my desk from Boyfriend are beginning to wilt. I am beginning to wilt. He calls me flower. Parallelism?
Phooey, I shouldn't even be typing this. It's just one of those days…

Edited: February 19th, 2002

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