Lock your doors!

My office discovered an alternate link to the state sex offenders database. Whereas you had to have the name and social security number before, this one lets you search by street name. Boy, does that give you better results! We found 2 registered child molesters living in my apartment complex, which is also one of our clients. So, we looked up their account to see if they ran criminal reports on these two dirtbags. One they had, but at that time, he hadn't registered yet (I think they have 30 days to do so). Crafty timing on his part?
The other offender is an unauthorized occupant (someone who is not on the elase and not supposed to be living there). Doh! We were pretty troubled by that, so we called up the leasing office to let them know what we'd found. They were shocked and thanked us profusely. (That is especially amusing to me, considering how they have dealt with safety concerns in the past- by pooh-poohing them and blowing you off.) I wondered what, if any, action they would take. By law, they could call the cops to remove him AND file for eviction on the current leaseholder for violating their lease.
On my way home, I saw two unmarked police cars. I slowed my pace to watch two plain clothes detectives walking up to the building of that illegal resident child molester! Of course, I can't be 100% certain that is exactly where they were headed and precisely why, but it definitely raised my eyebrows! (Or, um, where my eyebrows would be, if I had any… ha!)
I've known for a long time that there's a serious problem with criminal reporting in Indiana. The media recently exposed that there are backlogs of data entry- as much as 3 years in some areas! Landlords, employers etc etc will find no record on applicants who have been arrested and/or convicted in the past 3 years! Think of all the dirtbags that could have slipped through the cracks and now be working in instituitions like schools or living right next door to me! Pretty frightening! Oh, but it goes even deeper than that… there are 3 types of crimnal reports available: Instant “Statewide,” Sheriff Dept Records, Department Of Corrections (DOC), and County searches. There are screening companies that a) don't know the difference between them, B) don't bother to inform their clients about exactly what they are getting and the [in]accuracy of the data.
The Instant “Statewide”s are not really statewide at all! We have 92 counties and not all of them report criminal data! They are not required to do so, so many just don't! By ordering that type, if a person has committed an offense in one of those counties, you won't know about it- you're SOL.
The sheriff's department records have a similar issue… not all sheriff's departments report- they aren't required to, and also if a person was arrested by any bureau other than the sheriff, there again will be no record of it.
Now, the Department Of Correction records only show those who were convicted and served time in a state facility. Say an applicant gets trashed every weekend and beats the living shit out of people (girlfriend? wife? kids?) on a regular basis, but they've never been in a state pen for it – you won't see anything about it.
We encourage our customers to order County searches, because they involve an actual real live person sifting through arrest and conviction information and writing dow nanything they find. Unfortunately, because these are not a quick scan of a computer database, they can take anywhere from 24 hours (for the capital city) or 3 to 5 working days (for any other jurisdiction). Some operations are only concerned about how quickly they can get back an answer, and no so much how thorough that result may or may not be. (This is especially true in real estate- they worry that if it takes to long, they'll lose the sale.)
I have a sneaking suspicion that Indiana isn't the only state with these problems. I know for a fact that there are others that have that same issue with not all their counties supplying criminal information to so-called “statewide” databases.
You would think that after 9/11, there would be a big hullabaloo about this sort of thing. My employer has spent years lobbying for some legislation to establish a standard for these reports. We've involed other landlords and housing organizations, we've gone to lawmakers, we've gone to the media- all to no avail. Even though, by and large, I am not willing to trade personal freedoms for security, year after year, I feel progressively less safe. I will acknowledge that. And, I must admit, This is one of the very few areas in which I would prefer some govermental mandating.

Edited: April 29th, 2005

Faaabulous job, but not for you!

Indianapolis, IN – A proposal that would have prohibited Marion County businesses with at least six employees from considering sexual orientation in employment decisions was rejected by the City-County Council. Should Marion County have such an ordinance?

Yes: 36% (886 votes)
No: 64% (1569 votes)

I am not at all surprised this was shot down, considering we're a very conservative state (some would even use the term Bible Belt), but I'm disappointed, and perhaps a bit ashamed of some of the attitudes here. My thought is: As long as it doesn't effect your job performance, love whomever you wish, fuck whomever you wish. Opponents argued this would be giving “special rights,” but I'd be more apt to call them equal. Unfortunately, this is one of those debates that will never cease. We constantly attempt to legislate morality.

Edited: April 28th, 2005

Tequila Love

Jose is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle laying in the street.
Suddenly, out of the bottle comes a Genie. Jose is stunned and the Genie says, “Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want.”
Jose begins thinking, “I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me piss tequila.”
The Genie grants him his wish.
When Jose gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like tequila.Then he smells the liquid. Smells like tequila. So, he takes a taste and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
Jose yells to his wife, “Consuela, Consuela, come quickly!”
She comes running down the hall and Jose takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink it.
Consuela is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted. And the two drink and party all night.
The next night Jose comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The result is the same, the tequila is excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up.
Finally Friday night comes and Jose comes home and tells his wife, “Consuela grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink tequila.” His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table.
Jose begins to piss in the glass and when he fills it his wife tells him, “I'll get another glass.”
Jose raised the glass and says, “Not this time! Because tonight, my love, you drink from the bottle!!”

Edited: April 27th, 2005

Less than purrfect

A proposal that would allow hunters in Wisconsin to shoot and kill feral cats is causing a great deal of controversy lately. (Feral cats are those who have returned to an untamed state and exist in the wild.) The state is home to an estimated 1.4 million of them- many of which starve or freeze to death, especially during the harsh winter months.
Experts say that one female cat and her offspring can produce as many as 420,00 additional animals. Opponents of the proposal favour a more aggressive spay and neuter program. A spokeperson for Alley Cat Allies says, “Just because a cat doesn't have a collar, does not mean a cat has no owners.” Do you believe hunters should be able to shoot these felines?

Edited: April 26th, 2005

Born Of Frustration

Sometimes good things come out of bad situations. Apparently, word travels fast in the Indy music scene. Now that my boyfriend is unemployed, he has time to work on some projects and the calls are pouring in. Today he is working out steel and cowboy guitar parts, because… he's playing on Jane Jensen's new album!!!! (You might remember her from Troma films or The Crow Soundtrack).
When her Comic Book Whore cd came out in the mid-nineties I was working in radio, and Interscope Records had picked it up. They were pushing the single “More Than I Can,” pretty hard. Luckily, I loved the track (crunchy industrial stuff with sexy psycho siren vocals), and our rep, Ygal (Igal?), didn't have to do much coaxing to get us to play it. (I always wondered what ever happened to Jane! I found some of her old videos online here.) I guess not long after that, she left Interscope and eased into a more melodic modern rock sound, releasing Burner.
Now, she's recording in Indianapolis at Pop Machine and doing something I would call alt-country (in the vein of Old 97's, Wilco, Jayhawks, Cracker). She still sounds lovely and I can't wait to meet her. I'm dying to put up mp3's of the new tracks, but that wouldn't be cool without her permission. If I get a little liquid courage in me, maybe I will ask!
If this doesn't perk my guy up a bit, nothing can! Rock! \m/

Edited: April 25th, 2005

Corporate Schmorporate

My boyfriend was a victim of downsizing yesterday. (Hmmm… I kind of had an inkling that something was up with the company after they altogether canceled their notoriously swanky xmas chindig, saying they couldn't afford it.) I feel terrible for him, but on the bright side, it must be kind of a relief for him to know it wasn't due to the quality or quantity of his work, so it wasn't anything he'd done wrong, per se. He was told his numbers were great. It was merely a matter of seniority. His three years didn't compare much to those with 30 or 18 under their belt.
But, he's going to be okay. He has some leads alreaady and impressive references. Worst case scenario, he has a line of credit from his house that, theoretically, could last him three years. That is definitely more than enough time to find gainful employment. I think he might be interested in trying something new anyway. In a way, this is the push he needed. I'll be helping him revamp his resume. One thing that baffles me, however, is how someone who can't remember where the windows start menu button is located can master programs like Visual Basic and do cad drawings! I guess he knows what he knows. *shrugs* I wish I had some sort of neat specialized knowledge like that. Sometimes I think that would be better than being well rounded and able to do a bit of every thing. There are a ton of want ads for java based programmers lately.
Ah, Wednesday, my boss gave me a gift card for Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. Perfect timing- treating my man to a nice meal and some cocktails might cheer him up. Whew, good thing I hadn't asked him earlier in the week if I could borrow some money until my next payday, eh? I'd have felt awfully guilty right now :x Afterall, he has more to be concerned about than getting a new phone. I'll manage. I always do. He's so damn good to me, I want to do something nice for him.

Edited: April 22nd, 2005

Nervous Norvis Exposed

Yesterday, I had my cat neutered. He climbed right into the carrier, nosy. I felt guilty as I snapped it shut and hauled him out the door. He's been in the car a few times. I've taken him to visit my parents. He's pretty well behaved… a little chatty, but curious about everything along the way. The waiting room was filled with mostly dogs, biiiiiiig loud dogs. Dogs that walk their owners. Dogs that could knock me on my ass without even trying. I don't think Kiddie much cared for them. He stared at them, wide eyed, from safety. One of them took a dump on the floor and I swear it was the size of my head! Yuck!
In the examination room, Kiddie hopped right out of the carrier, wanting to be petted by everyone. They laughed that they had to pry most cats out. He wouldn't stay on the scale, he was too interested in sniffing every thing around him. Cute. He weighs 8 lbs, 9 ounces. Meow!
I didn't want to leave him. Although I know it is a perfectly standard proceedure, I was twitchy all day worrying about him. Every time the phone rang, I expected the worst- “Anastacia, I'm calling because we've had some problems with Kiddie. Unfortunately, we lost him. I'm sorry. There was nothing more we could do…”
Ack! I've been watching ER the past two or three weeks, can you tell?! Yeah, no more of that for me. I apparently can't handle it. It is making me neurotic more neurotic, and maybe a bit hypocondrial.
My baby is fine, thankfully. He might be a little bit sleepier than usual, but he seems pretty much normal. He's been sitting on the window sills, sunning himself and watching the birds. He was starving when he first came home, impatiently trying to get into his bag of food, though they said he wouldn't want to eat. He sniffed his water, which they said to give him immediately, and was sorely disappointed. I fed him after 8pm, as instructed, and he was one happy guy. He hasn't gotten sick, though they suggested this was highly likely. He doesn't seem to be spraying, but I'll give it a couple of weeks before I say he's “cured” of that habit. Above all, he isn't the slightest bit angry at me. What a forgiving cat!

Edited: April 20th, 2005

From the haha folder

I actually bothered to read one of those humorous “signs you are…” emails that are circulating. This one was about being addicted to the internet. I'm only including the ones that applied to me, but can you relate to any of these too?

You wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act.
Your bookmark list takes several minutes to scroll top to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. (Well, sometimes I do close my eyes and still see a site.)
You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to Google.
Your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: T1, T3…
You've dreamed in code.
You find yourself typing 'com' after every period when using a word processor.com
When you turn off your pc, you get this awful empty feeling, like you've just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You've introduced yourself as 'Anastacia from DirtyLittleSecrets.net!'
Most of your friends have an @ in their “names.”
When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them you've already visited.
Your cat has its own home page. (I'm working on it!)
You code your resume in HTML and give prospective employers the URL.
You laugh at people with 14400 baud modems.
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

Your boyfriend's new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed.”

You'd get a tattoo that says 'Best viewed with Firefox'.
The last girl you picked up was only a JPG.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

Tech Support calls YOU for help.
Someone at work tells you a joke and you say “LOL” out loud.
You have called out someone's screen name while making love.
You keep begging your friends to get an account so “we can hang out”.
If you see a female in the “Real” world that you wish to meet, your first thought is to IM her.

When looking at signs, you notice they are “yelling” at you.

You go up to people you are attracted to “in real life” and ask them for their pic.
Your boyfriend now complains of you moving your fingers in your sleep instead of talking.

You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won't know you're online again.

You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to your own.

You use all of your screen names so much that you have to look at your own profile to see who you are.

You marry your cyberboyfriend/girlfriend and you both sit at your own computers & chat to each other every night from across the room. (Ok, not us, but I know a couple that does this!)
You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.
Your buddy list has over 100 people on it.
You've thought about injecting no-doze into your butt to keep it awake.

You end sentences with 3 (or more) periods while writing letters by hand.
Your relationships online have been more serious than those in real life.
You get up at 2 am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead.

You double click your TV remote.
You've had to be physically pried from your computer at bedtime.
You understand the humor in all of this.

Edited: April 18th, 2005

Whew!

I'm really looking forward to an idyllic weekend of lounging in the hot tub with my copy of Who You Know (total fluff, yes) and eating my boyfriend's “better than mom's” cooking. (Shhh… don't tell her that!) I must admit, doing something every evening this week certainly made it go faster. And, I especially enjoyed the Pacers game Wednesday- good seats, good company, close game. My friend brought along his camera phone and snapped a few images…

I surprised my beau last night. He'd call a couple of times this week, which was great because we don't have much time together then because of our work schedules, but a bummer because I already had plans. So, after my hair appointment, I used my key while he was at his gig and slipped in to wait for him, in lingerie, in bed! Ah, good times!
Next week, you'd better believe I'm going to do some serious relaxing! But for me, that means internet stuffs. I'm already jacking around with a new layout, though this one isn't even a month old, doh. I had some down time at work, started playing with javascript and got inspired. I probably won't put it up for another couple of weeks, or perhaps a month- if I can control myself… Bah, you know I can't! *g*

Edited: April 15th, 2005

`toon time



(Click image to enlarge)
This sort of reminds me of when my bosses fibbed and told the staff there were cameras all over the office to keep an eye on us when they were away. We searched and never found any. Just to be sure, a couple of employees worked their weekend shifts naked to see what would be said about that. Not a thing… seemingly confirming our suspicions that there probably were none!

Edited: April 13th, 2005

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