Archive for 2005
*$igh*
Have you noticed we're beginning to trade humanity for convenience? Machines are replacing people. Practically whatever it is, they can do it faster, cheaper, with fewer errors and less supervision. As much as I'm fascinated by and appreciative of technology, I don't want to live in a world where there are no friendly [living, breathing] attendants to smile at me, to ask how my family is doing, to drop my change and sheepishly apologize, to go out of their way just to be nice. (Of course that's not considering the fact that genuinely nice people seem to be few and far between these days…)
I get a sick taste in my mouth when I realize that, ultimately, everything bolis down to money- it's all about numbers, the bottom line… [who makes what, who can get what, who already has what… gimmie, gimmie, gimmie- take, take, take…] And it distresses me to know I cannot pinpoint the exact second that became the most important thing in our lives. And if I don't know the when, where, how and why of it, I am afraid I can never get back to really living life and not just existing from paycheck to paycheck. This nickel and diming crap, frankly, sucks.
Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.
Quandry.
I have less than 20 days to make a decision that will change my life and send me on a different course. I am a fairly flexible person. Normally, I welcome change- especially when I am the one initiating it, rather just adapting to a situation that is out of my hands. But for the first time in years, I don't know *exactly* what I want. I'm not scared, per se, just indecisive. Or is it 'cautious' (because this is a such a big step)?
Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.
Wrong Hole!
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Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.
Mmm, the power of pizza!
A late night delivery of 15 pizzas was the bargaining chip that effectively resolved Risdon Prison's 41-hour siege, Tasmanian Prisons Director Graeme Barber has said. Mr Barber also said the prison warden who was held captive by inmates and released in the early hours of Monday morning was “very shaken up”. Mr Barber told reporters the 20 inmates involved in the stand-off had all been returned to their cells. Prisoners also released documents raising 24 issues they wanted addressed at the jail. The siege concluded after agreement on all points – with the final point being the call for pizzas.
It is not yet clear how many inmates were held against their will by other prisoners, but Mr Barber said he thought a group of four to five prisoners had orchestrated the siege.
Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.
Parlor trick! Show your friends!
Butter for perverts!
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DO try this at home! *g* Take a Land O' Lakes butter package and fold it upwards (the crease must be just above the Indian's boobs, uh, kneecaps- right at the line where horizon/water/grass meet). Press into place on chest area. It should rest along the top of the Land O' Lakes package that the Indian has in her hands, and … voila – BOOBS!!!
Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.
Painting it pink would be too much!
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Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.
Lock your doors!
My office discovered an alternate link to the state sex offenders database. Whereas you had to have the name and social security number before, this one lets you search by street name. Boy, does that give you better results! We found 2 registered child molesters living in my apartment complex, which is also one of our clients. So, we looked up their account to see if they ran criminal reports on these two dirtbags. One they had, but at that time, he hadn't registered yet (I think they have 30 days to do so). Crafty timing on his part?
The other offender is an unauthorized occupant (someone who is not on the elase and not supposed to be living there). Doh! We were pretty troubled by that, so we called up the leasing office to let them know what we'd found. They were shocked and thanked us profusely. (That is especially amusing to me, considering how they have dealt with safety concerns in the past- by pooh-poohing them and blowing you off.) I wondered what, if any, action they would take. By law, they could call the cops to remove him AND file for eviction on the current leaseholder for violating their lease.
On my way home, I saw two unmarked police cars. I slowed my pace to watch two plain clothes detectives walking up to the building of that illegal resident child molester! Of course, I can't be 100% certain that is exactly where they were headed and precisely why, but it definitely raised my eyebrows! (Or, um, where my eyebrows would be, if I had any… ha!)
I've known for a long time that there's a serious problem with criminal reporting in Indiana. The media recently exposed that there are backlogs of data entry- as much as 3 years in some areas! Landlords, employers etc etc will find no record on applicants who have been arrested and/or convicted in the past 3 years! Think of all the dirtbags that could have slipped through the cracks and now be working in instituitions like schools or living right next door to me! Pretty frightening! Oh, but it goes even deeper than that… there are 3 types of crimnal reports available: Instant “Statewide,” Sheriff Dept Records, Department Of Corrections (DOC), and County searches. There are screening companies that a) don't know the difference between them, B) don't bother to inform their clients about exactly what they are getting and the [in]accuracy of the data.
The Instant “Statewide”s are not really statewide at all! We have 92 counties and not all of them report criminal data! They are not required to do so, so many just don't! By ordering that type, if a person has committed an offense in one of those counties, you won't know about it- you're SOL.
The sheriff's department records have a similar issue… not all sheriff's departments report- they aren't required to, and also if a person was arrested by any bureau other than the sheriff, there again will be no record of it.
Now, the Department Of Correction records only show those who were convicted and served time in a state facility. Say an applicant gets trashed every weekend and beats the living shit out of people (girlfriend? wife? kids?) on a regular basis, but they've never been in a state pen for it – you won't see anything about it.
We encourage our customers to order County searches, because they involve an actual real live person sifting through arrest and conviction information and writing dow nanything they find. Unfortunately, because these are not a quick scan of a computer database, they can take anywhere from 24 hours (for the capital city) or 3 to 5 working days (for any other jurisdiction). Some operations are only concerned about how quickly they can get back an answer, and no so much how thorough that result may or may not be. (This is especially true in real estate- they worry that if it takes to long, they'll lose the sale.)
I have a sneaking suspicion that Indiana isn't the only state with these problems. I know for a fact that there are others that have that same issue with not all their counties supplying criminal information to so-called “statewide” databases.
You would think that after 9/11, there would be a big hullabaloo about this sort of thing. My employer has spent years lobbying for some legislation to establish a standard for these reports. We've involed other landlords and housing organizations, we've gone to lawmakers, we've gone to the media- all to no avail. Even though, by and large, I am not willing to trade personal freedoms for security, year after year, I feel progressively less safe. I will acknowledge that. And, I must admit, This is one of the very few areas in which I would prefer some govermental mandating.
Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.
Faaabulous job, but not for you!
Indianapolis, IN – A proposal that would have prohibited Marion County businesses with at least six employees from considering sexual orientation in employment decisions was rejected by the City-County Council. Should Marion County have such an ordinance?
Yes: 36% (886 votes)
No: 64% (1569 votes)
I am not at all surprised this was shot down, considering we're a very conservative state (some would even use the term Bible Belt), but I'm disappointed, and perhaps a bit ashamed of some of the attitudes here. My thought is: As long as it doesn't effect your job performance, love whomever you wish, fuck whomever you wish. Opponents argued this would be giving “special rights,” but I'd be more apt to call them equal. Unfortunately, this is one of those debates that will never cease. We constantly attempt to legislate morality.
Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.
Tequila Love
Jose is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle laying in the street.
Suddenly, out of the bottle comes a Genie. Jose is stunned and the Genie says, “Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want.”
Jose begins thinking, “I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me piss tequila.”
The Genie grants him his wish.
When Jose gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like tequila.Then he smells the liquid. Smells like tequila. So, he takes a taste and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
Jose yells to his wife, “Consuela, Consuela, come quickly!”
She comes running down the hall and Jose takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink it.
Consuela is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted. And the two drink and party all night.
The next night Jose comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two glasses. The result is the same, the tequila is excellent and the couple drink until the sun comes up.
Finally Friday night comes and Jose comes home and tells his wife, “Consuela grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink tequila.” His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table.
Jose begins to piss in the glass and when he fills it his wife tells him, “I'll get another glass.”
Jose raised the glass and says, “Not this time! Because tonight, my love, you drink from the bottle!!”
Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.
Less than purrfect
A proposal that would allow hunters in Wisconsin to shoot and kill feral cats is causing a great deal of controversy lately. (Feral cats are those who have returned to an untamed state and exist in the wild.) The state is home to an estimated 1.4 million of them- many of which starve or freeze to death, especially during the harsh winter months.
Experts say that one female cat and her offspring can produce as many as 420,00 additional animals. Opponents of the proposal favour a more aggressive spay and neuter program. A spokeperson for Alley Cat Allies says, “Just because a cat doesn't have a collar, does not mean a cat has no owners.” Do you believe hunters should be able to shoot these felines?
Originally published at TousledElegance.net. You can comment here or there.