Mental Plethora

I have a lot of thoughts racing around in my head tonight. If I don’t put them down on, uh, paper (or weblog), I’m going to hurt someone or lose something. I keep getting distracted from everything I try to do… cooking (dangerous time to daydream!), reading a book (omg, the killer screwed up and 2 women have been found alive!),  eat (I keep pushing the plate away so I can stare off into space, because staring helps me focus my thoughts), or watch tv (I gazed at the screen for a lot longer than I want to admit without hearing or seeing that it was “snow”). Now watching this cursor blink, I’m hoping to be lulled into a state in which I can put the pictures in my mind into words… better yet, words that make sense. ;)

The Election:
Voting has never been about Red or Blue for me. I’m going to cast my ballot for the candidates whose views most closely mirror my own. This time, it is neither Republican, Democrat or even Libertarian. I don’t see a vote for what one believes in as “throwing away your vote.” Use your Right to do what you think is right. It does not always have to be a choice of the lesser of two evils.
I don’t care about the delivery/content of Sarah Palin’s speech at the convention, that her teenager is pregnant, that she’s accused of some ethical violations, or that she is female. I am tired of hearing about these things over and over. The only thing of consequence to me in respect to her is where she stands on the issues. And her stances both horrify and terrify me. And here’s something that will be appalling to you… I almost wish there had been/would be an assassination attempt on someone- just to shake things up. “Not a very nice thing to say,” I know, but ignoring actual important news items in favour of speculations on this circus sideshow isn’t either. At least give us something interesting if you won’t give us something informative. (That’s tongue in cheek. Keep your shirt on.)

Things You Might Not Know About Me:
My fear of heights is paralytic and I get really twitchy about water in my face too. I scream and climb on surfaces when I see bugs; they make such an impression on me that I feel like they are crawling all over me hours later and I’m still glancing around for more. I rarely watch a movie or read a book twice unless it has had a major impact on me. If I already know what’s going to happen and how it ends, it usually cannot hold my attention. However, no matter how many times I’ve seen a film, I still can’t quote lines or recognize them when other people do. The written word sticks with me better. I love sleeping more than * almost * anything. Ideally, I like to be out for 16-18 hours. The trouble is, no matter how much I sleep, I still wake up tired! I like songs with a hook, plenty of guitars, political angst or lyrics that bring back painful memories. I hold such unpopular beliefs as: Eddie Cochran > Elvis, The Beatles weren’t the greatest band ever and The Kinks might have been the very first punk band. Growing up, we once had 34 cats. I may very well become the old cat lady in the rocking chair. It should go without saying that I also adore LOLCats. I am living proof that there isn’t always a correlation between kinkiness/bedroom skills, liking spicy foods, being a good dancer. As a kid, my parents had to fight with me to get me to eat meat. I’d always go for the veggies. I still prefer them. I want a job where I make a difference in people’s lives. I also want a job that does not require me to speak with people or see people – ever. Ironic. I have an a slight aversion to body hair, but am more disgusted by my own sweat. I can look at the goriest crime scene or horror flick, but the sight of my own blood makes me woozy. Eyebrows are the first thing I notice about a girl, followed by hair. I don’t think I have a foot fetish per se, but doing a little tease for those who do REALLY excites me. I like practicality, rationality and courtesy. It irks me when people do things the hard way/without common sense, or don’t ever think to do little things like hold open a door for someone. Niceness is on it’s way out and that saddens me. I get vertigo from flying in an airplane, but it doesn’t stop me. My job has changed me into a person I don’t want to be. When I was little, I was bit by a dog that looked like Benji and had to have 6 shots in the stomach. When I was about 9, I was in a car accident, caused by a drunk driver, in which our vehicle hit a ditch, flew over a fence and flipped a couple of times before uprighting itself; the driver was my Father. In college, I seriously considered marrying the Greek exchange student so he could stay in the US.

Assaults On Sexuality:
Am I the only person that isn’t offended by being called a Slut or Whore? I’m more bothered that people say that as if it is a bad thing, that they use those words as insults. As long as no one is being hurt by it, why is fucking for fun and pleasure so bad? I have never understood that mindset. And, I don’t even need to mention the dichotomy of screwing = male prowess versus female impurity more than in passing.

Reality Tv:
I am a tad embarrassed to admit I’m watching Big Brother 10. Reality, my butt. But, heh, I am intrigued *seeing* the way people think and the crappy things they will do to eachother. It’s like that awful scene you can’t seem to look away from. Morbid fascination. Yep. Is that why you’re reading this? :)

Share This Post:

Almost Gone

The last couple of days have been roasting hot, but Monday was supposed to generally be a mark of the close of this season. The end of Summer always makes me a little sad. I wind up thinking about all the things I wanted to do and didn’t… how little I swam (ok, more like bounced around on tip-toe in the pool), picnicked at the art museum, went for walks, camped (I’m not too frou-frou or tech addicted for it), sat on the porch in my rocker like an old lady, grilled out.
*melodramatic sigh*
Listening to this obscure Doors song probably isn’t the best idea, eh?

“Summer’s almost gone,
Almost gone,
Yeah, it’s almost gone.
Where will we be
When the summer’s gone?

Summer’s almost gone,
We had some good times,
But they’re gone,
The winter’s comin’ on,
Summer’s almost gone”

*sniff*

Share This Post:

Administrative Ass.

(I once saw a rental application in which the applicant had abbreviated “Assistant” that way. I felt it appropriate, heh.)

In the spirit of my “anywhere but here” thoughts about the office, today I’ve been pondering my ideal job. (Because there has to be something better than this, right?!)
I don’t think I could work from home, even if a position allowed it. (Well, at least not regularly.) Though I definitely excel at working independently rather than in groups, my personality type needs a bit of a formal, structured environment to do my best – a particular attitude, a certain type of dress. In fact, some small part of me wishes I had a seemingly glamorous corporate job that required suits. That’s especially odd coming from someone who campaigns for the rights of small businesses. (I’ve found I prefer to be a patron though, not an employee.)

It isn’t matter of not knowing what I want, but rather not knowing if it is possible or how to get started. (I ache to go back to school so badly, but that’s laughable since I’m being garnished for Student Loans.) There are, of course, many things I would love to do, but for which I lack the required technical skills… eyewear and footwear design, for example. I also thought it would be terrific to be someone who surfs the web for a living (but in an office), *ahem*), be it to write commentary or to report TOS and copyright violations.
I believe I would be a marvelous product reviewer. I am open-minded, impartial, tactful and inquisitive… I love to try new things, i.e. foods, software, gadgets, and I can always find both positive and negative things to say. (I’ve been a beta-tester for sites/programs and been on a few advisory panels before, but never for anything particularly fun, cool or noteworthy.) Sure, I can see the downside though… companies send you something and don’t like what you have to say, consumers buy something based on your opinion only to bitch about it, or you wind up with so much junk stuff you can’t get to it all.

Nothing is all it’s cracked up to be, basically. We all settle. Oh, yes, most definitely I am cynical, but I like to think I am fairly realistic too. One side of me says I may be an office slave forever. I acknowledge that. But, the other side of me says I don’t have to accept just any ol’ employment offer. Sage advice for all: choose your battles wisely, compromise accordingly.

Share This Post:

Re-designed

Okay, here it is – the new layout for TousledElegance.net! I’m periodically adding, subtracting and shifting around things until I find my happy medium… nothing drastic; I wouldn’t have put it up at all yet if it were in a state I absolutely couldn’t live with.

So, what’s new?

~ Since I’m not necessarily blogging on a daily basis, I’ve programmed my Twitter Updates to post here and on Livejournal. You’ll at least know I am alive and what I’m up to that way. Sorry if that is annoying to you, but *I* like reading people’s tweets. Things said on the fly like that can give insight into someone’s real personality, not just their internet persona.

~ I updated my contact information. You’ll notice I am not using instant messengers anymore, however, I do read and respond to email. I chat predominately on Rude and occasionally on Camwhores.

~ I only offer private shows for fetishes which intrigue me. (Ask for details, if interested.)

~ I’m making an effort to update my webcam more often (ideally, 2 – 3 times a week).

~ I plan to run my Voyeur cams more regularly (i.e. evenings and weekends).

~ In the future, I will have more videos and photos on Rude, both Free and For Sale.

~ The documentary, CamGirls, for which I was interviewed a few years ago is in the last stages. Soon they’ll be into color correction, adding graphics/titles, inserting the score/music and doing the final sound mix. When it is complete, I will definitely let you know!

Overall, my goals is to do the things I enjoy online when I am in the mood to do them – no pressure, no obligation.

Share This Post: