Cam Session Gone Wrong
Share This Post:
Edited: December 27th, 2008
Before Eve There Was Adam
Tonight is Christmas Adam, the night before Christmas Eve, when Thee Boyfriend’s family gets together at his dad’s. There’s usually about 15 people there. We order pizza and they exchange gifts. (Hold that thought and notice I said “They.”)
I know his dad likes me; he always invites me to family functions, takes me out to brunch, we talk and get along fine. But, for some reason, every holiday season, he always “forgets” that I am coming over and “forgets” to get a gift for me. So, usually, I am the only one with nothing to open. Now, it’s not like I am family and it’s not like I expect anything, but I have to say that it makes me feel really uncomfortable (and even sad) while everyone else is tearing open their presents and exclaiming over them and I am just sitting there watching, trying to look cheerful and excited for them about the stuff they got.
His dad is about 80, so maybe it is possible he got confused or did not remember in the holiday rush, but if it is something else… well, I’d really like to know. It is puzzling to me and just a wee bit hurtful. His family is not a close loving family though and mine IS. Perhaps we just do things differently. I’m sort of resigned to it, but still… sometimes…
Share This Post:
Edited: December 23rd, 2008
An Early Xmas Present
Last week, Thee Boyfriend was teasing me about my small hands and feet (both size 5). He slipped on the diamond ring he got me last Xmas. It didn’t quite fit over the knuckle on his pinky, heh. We were laughing about it, goofing around, talking, watching tv, when we caught the forecast that a big winter storm was headed this way and he rushed out and salted the already snowy, icy driveway before it got too dark to see and too slippery to matter… with my ring on… In our worries over the weather, he forgot, I forgot. As you might imagine, the ring is gone! Perhaps it’s buried somewhere under the wintery mix to be found after the thaw out or perhaps it was accidentally flung elsewhere never to be seen again. He felt awful. I felt awful. We searched the area for a few days with no luck. So, today, we went to the jeweler to, hopefully, find a replacement. I chose this: http://twitpic.com/photos/tousledelegance – green sapphire with white diamonds set in white gold. It may not have the same sentimental value, but it sure is pretty.
Share This Post:
Edited: December 21st, 2008
Darker Shade Of Black
I’m stressed. Have you noticed? It has been one thing after another and I just can’t take any more… my mothers illness, my job loss/job change, break-up with T/new relationship with M/break-up with M/reunion with T, moving, the garnishment. Life, in general, has all taken a toll on me.
I’m not the same person anymore. I was always sort of melancholy, but I could at least make cynical jokes and find the humour in things. Now, nothing is funny to me anymore. I don’t enjoy anything. I have no friends. I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to do anything. I can barely get out of bed. I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t know what could possibly change things enough for it to make a difference in me or to me.
What do I want? I want my parents to be well physically and financially. I want a new job. I want enough income to live on. I want… something different, something else, not all this. I don’t think it is too much to ask for. I think I have been through enough. I deserve better. I deserve to be happy.
I try not to complain or ask for help, because I know others have it much worse than I do. I’m sorry that the only things I have to say are grim and whiny. But, I can’t keep it inside all the time anymore. I don’t need your pity and I don’t want your suggestions. And I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry. I’m a fucking emo parody, but I’m too exhausted to care.
Share This Post:
Edited: December 11th, 2008
Crotch Spies
Sandra, an Australian member of a Childfree discussion group to which I am subscribed, wrote this rant below. I think she’s terrific, has loads of common sense and is so colourful, which is why I simply had to post this here :) For background, what brought on this topic, originally, was a mention of Rev. Fred Nile, who tried to introduce legislation that a woman could only have an abortion if the fetus’ father gave permission.
“Despite men’s obligations under the Child Support Act these pricks like to have a bet both ways. Basically if a woman does go ahead with a child HE does not want, then HE should not have to pay for child support OR can insist on a termination. OTOH, if she is pregnant with his child and she does not want a pregnancy, HE can make her have the child. It all boils down to his decisions.
These people operate on their ill-conceived paradigm that since men cannot control their sexual urges it is up to women to be the sexual and moral gatekeepers because women, supposedly, are indifferent about sex. Basically what they are saying is; if a woman cannot keep her legs together she gets what she deserves. I have freqeuntly intoned that if a bloke does not want to get a bird up the duff, then he ought to keep it in his pants.
My other theory, which I am sure I have shared here before, is that the control over female fertility is to intended to control them sexually and economically. If pregnancy can be used as a tool of fear and oppression, as punishment for having sex, then women will have to think twice about having sex. Being a single mother is very likely to place a woman in poverty and it certainly can slow her progress in work and education. Take away contraception and abortion and women become dependant on a reliable male provider is she is to avoid poverty.
The other reason these dickheads fear female sexual independance is sexual insecurity. The possibility that a heterosexual woman has seen a bigger ding-ding or experienced a better lover strikes real fear in the hearts of these men. And, the women who trade on their woo like is it some kind of prize — whether she is trading a peice of her for a drink, dinner date or a wedding band — are intimidated by sexually-free women because their behaviour reduces the market price, so to speak. Ever seen a young woman flashing her new engagement ring? It is like a trophy. “Look at me, someone thinks my cu*t is worth a shiny rock!”
What was scary about Nile’s proposal is that, at the extreme, it would mean a rapist could force his victim to bear his child. It also undermines the “sanctity of life” argument that these dickwads frequently intone. If their philosphical postion is indeed, a foetus has a right to life, then it would be applied in all circumstances. Nile’s position that abortion is only permitted when the father wants it quite simply reveals what Nile’s true intent is; that female sexuality be owned by men and that pregnancy should be an instrument of fear to punish women for having sex.”
I have had an abortion (and would do so again if I found myself pregnant, despite using contraception), so obviously, having that choice is important to me. There’s so need to launch into a diatribe about my reasons. BUT, that aside, the Reverend sparked a few questions in my mind. In Nile’s thought, the law would tie everything up in a neat little package. But, the analytical side of me inmmediately started wondering about costs. Who would pay for the legwork of obtaining consent, who would pay for overseeing that the law was followed or for prosecuting those breaking it? I also became curious as to how Nile, ideally, would have it handled if the woman did not know who the father is… would he think she’s a tramp and her punishment should be to have the child? Or, would he prefer to track down and test any men with whom she’d had sex during the probable time frame… and if so, again, I wondered who would bear the cost of that search and/or testing… or what would happen if the man could not be found? See, I’m the inquisitive sort. I like to consider all possibilities and, yes, sometimes, to play Devil’s Advocate. Ooh, a mere mention of Satan and coupled with a positive word towards “advocacy” at that! I must be a minion, a heathen headed straight for hell, eh Rev. Nile? See you there, Sir! ;)
Share This Post:
Edited: December 9th, 2008
Queen Of The Pin-Ups Critically Ill
Bettie Page had a heart attack Tuesday and was hospitalized Friday. She may be in a coma. Read the full story: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/12/05/state/n163820S71.DTL
Share This Post:
Edited: December 5th, 2008