A selection from “J Is For Jealousy”

Intoxication by Shanna Germain

*scroll down the entry just a bit for the story*

Edited: March 29th, 2009

Dirty Thoughts

I’d like to start writing erotica again. We all have fantasies that we return to regularly. Many are things we’d never actually do, but often think about in the moment >;) Some of my favourites involve:

- acting as a Domme over men with a panty or foot fetish,

- being forced by my master to take black cocks bareback while he watches, instructs, films and masturbates,

- getting a public groping and fucking by 3 aggressive older brits in a pub (inspired by a triple penetration scene featuring Taylor Rain),

- Greg Dulli (…)

- Greg Graffin (…)

- Robert Pollard (…)

- being kidnapped and trained by my captor in a fashion similar to the Sleeping Beauty novels,

- dominating men via facesitting and pussy worship,

- feminization of crossdressers,

- receiving bukkake facials while being pleasured with a vibrator,

- servicing a group of dominant women in a setting like prison or a formal tea party

And that’s just the short list :) I hope to hammer out some in depth tales soon.

Edited: March 26th, 2009

My Spring Beautification

With spring on the way (well, I hope it is!), I am starting to consider changing my look a bit. I achieved one goal already; my hair is to the middle of my back and nearly covers my boobs in the front. Next comes colour! I have been having the black hair versus red hair debate with myself for a few months. I think I have decided on black. Right now, I am about a level 5/medium brown, but black (level 1) is my natural colour. Up until fairly recently, I have hated it. Now, I am embracing it (thanks, emo/scene kids!) and noticing how it ‘makes my eyes pop’ and my skin look more porcelain. Whereas red, though I love it so much, emphasizes my pink undertones and makes me ruddier (more ruddy?); it requires maintenance too. I have been using my ‘entertainment money’ to have my hair washed and styled twice a week at the salon instead of spending it on something else (i.e. booze, going out), so I probably should not add another expense into my routine there.

I had this image in my head of the cut and colour. I was picturing a dark Veronica Lake feel. I only today realized I had seen it on someone before and who that someone was- Dita Von Teese…. Great since I love arming myself with photos for my stylist and it’s easy to find several of her. I like this one in particular. My bangs are long enough to brush over and hide under my hair until they are longer. (I will definitely miss them, but the weekly trims and monthly relaxers needed to keep them properly shaped are annoying me.) And, if I decide to go lighter afterwards, I have always been able to lift several levels from black quickly and easily without frying. In fact, even though I abuse the flat iron, my hair is still so strong I can usually relax and colour it in one shot with very little damage and no breakage. (Dad’s genes, yay!) I even went from black to actual platinum blond in two processes done in the same day once – wow! Honestly, the only drawback with this new darker look is that I would feel compelled to do my brows perfectly every day (at the moment, I do a fast, rough sketch since they are covered by bangs) and to wear makeup in the morning since my face will be so exposed (usually I put it on at lunchhour). No sense in having glam hair and a bare face :P Oooh, I’m nervous and excited!

The prospect of warmer weather has me interested in nail art again too. (For some reason, it just doesn’t appeal to me as much when it is cold outside. No idea why!) If it looks like it is going to be consistently in the 60’s or 70’s week after next, I think I may get airbrushed tiger stripes… an orange background with black markings overlayed on my fingers and doing a solid orange coat on my toes. Right now I am wearing a polish so horrendously sheer that I am really itching for something bold. I also like the idea of a white background with a flower of some sort painted on with a green stem and pink leaves on my hands sometime in April. I’d probably do the same pink on my toes. My mother wonders when I became such a girl :)

Edited: March 14th, 2009

I Am ‘That Guy’

I dance like That Guy. You know who That Guy is – the one everybody scoots away from on the floor, the one they keep glancing at and snickering about. Oh, alright, maybe I am not that bad, but I usually opt out of dancing because I know it is not a skill or talent I possess. Well, usually… although, at the gay bars, I can vamp it up like I’m on Club MTV [I'm dating myself with that reference] and no one thinks anything of it because they are all doing the same thing… and besides, I’m a girl [*ew*] and no one pays attention to me in those places.

It’s odd though, because you’d assume that since I can play several instruments, sing and read music that I would have enough of a sense of rhythm to get my groove on without looking like the stereotypical Honky/Cracker. Alas, no! My mental abilities and my physical abilities are completely, embarrassingly, caucasianly [is that a word?!] out of synch. I mean, c’mon, I nearly failed Gym class in school, so that should give you some indication of my lack of coordination!

But, I’ll let you in on a little secret… Sometimes, when no one is home, I put on an ‘old skool’ record from the New Jack Swing era and pretend I am some skeezer in a rap video. [Yo, yo!] You won’t see that on the Voyeur Cams though. I’ll spare you “That Guy!”

Edited: March 4th, 2009