TousledElegance.net

I called in sick to work. Again. I’ve been trying to make myself go to the ER for two or three days now.
I’ve had searing stomach pain since last Tuesday. I thought it was just dyspepsia, stress, lack of sleep, bad food or maybe that I needed a good poo, but I’ve tried every remedy known to man to treat all of these possibilities and nothing has helped at all. The pain has actually increased each day to the point that I can’t really function now. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t sit up. I can’t lay down. It all hurts like hell. Nothing eases it in the least.
Disturbingly, everything I am experiencing sounds exactly like what a friend experienced when she went to the ER with stomach pain and they ended up removing her gallbladder. Fuck.
I’m scared- not about what they’ll find or what they’ll do, but about the cost. I’m uninsured and live paycheck to paycheck. My garnishment for student loans just recently ended, after two years of misery. I’m still paying off the IRS, but all the while accruing more tax debt because if I change my Withholding, I won’t have enough money to live on. I cannot, simply cannot, incur any more bills. However, I also cannot handle this level of physical pain any longer, so to the ER I must go.
How long will I wait? 4 hours? 6 hours? More? Will they even be able to do any thing for me? I’ll never know unless I get off my ass. Anything has got to better than this stabbing, stifling burning, right? Besides, what if I let it go and it became even more serious/costly?
I know, I know. I’m going.

Share This Post:

The anniversary party at The Conrad was wonderful. It must have cost a pretty penny, so I am even more grateful to have been included.
There was a smooth jazz ensemble playing live in the grand ballroom. The meal was served in a choreographed manner. The staff unfolded napkins and put them into laps. Then they surrounded the tables and with a nod from their “leader,” simultaneously put each dish down in a sort of sweeping flourish of culinary ballet. The orchestration of it was and kind of neat, yet stuffy and a bit silly all at the same time.
The food consisted of Truffle Foam & Porcini Dust soup, chicken breasts stuffed with apricot, cranberries, spinach and gruyere cheese, a filet mignon in marsala sauce, with risotto, crisp steamed green beans, asparagus and carrots and tiramisu for dessert. I had Keystone Cabernet with it. Everything was absolutely delicious!

It was really touching to hear the grown children speak so warmly about their parents and the toasts that husband & wife made to each other had me tearing up. My Man grabbed my hand and squeezed it a few times throughout the heartfelt speeches. I felt quite elegant and so in love. We socialized a bit, sat through the raffle, congratulated the couple and wished them 25 more years, then slipped out around 10pm for our own kind of celebration in private ;)

We spent Saturday and Sunday together too, recovering and relaxing. I know I’ll be missing him like crazy by midweek, but healing, restoring weekends like this one sure make it much easier to get through Monday.

Share This Post:

I’m still feeling fairly troubled, but a little less so after a visit from Master. He stopped by after practice last night. We gave my furniture a workout and made plans for the weekend. I’m sooo excited for Friday night. We’re going to a neighbor’s anniversary party at a swanky hotel: http://conradhotels1.hilton.com/en/ch/hotels/index.do?ctyhocn=INDCICI. Quite the atmosphere and the food should be ahhhh-mazing!

It was very nice of S&K B to invite us. I’m kind of surprised by it because I wouldn’t necessarily say we’re “close” or that we hang out. However, they are, hands down, the best neighbors I’ve ever had. They are friendly, without being overbearing or intrusive. They are kind and helpful (which makes you want to treat them the same) and they never take advantage. They keep the noise level at a reasonable volume and never complain about ours. They look out for the neighborhood without gossiping or being busybodies. We’re pretty lucky to have them living next door. Maybe some day we will be inviting them to our anniversary soiree!

Share This Post:

“If praise isn’t forthcoming, we’re dejected; if we get the approval we seek, the victory is hollow since it feels like it had to be forcibly extracted.”
Although these two planets didn’t come into opposition until today, I’ve been feeling that influence since the 6th. Things were really wonderful up until then. What the hell happened?!

I don’t live and die by the zodiac, but you’ve got to admit, we don’t know everything there is to know about the cosmos (and we never will, imo). That’s why I believe it’s, at the very least, possible that there’s some credence to Astrology. Just how much we also don’t/never will know, but I think it’s worth keeping an idle eye on such things. “I might as well as insurance or bail,” as Jenny Lewis sang ;)

Share This Post: