TousledElegance.net

As I type this, it’s 4:00pm on a Saturday afternoon. 36F. Sunny. (I suppose it’s important to note that because this is about the time of year that I just can’t take anymore “winterness” and I start to lose my fucking mind. Consequently, I either blog a lot and at length or not at all.)

Pamplemousse is stretched out in patch of sunlight in the dining room, pretending to be oblivious. Chou is curled up in a basket in the living room, truly oblivious. Shadow is serving as a kitty postage stamp on the corner of the bed, alternating between obliviousness and alertness. Porch Kitten is galavanting around the neighborhood. T is puttering. C is upstairs being a teenager. L is packing.

I? I’m baking cookies (chocolate chip) while I wait for Boyfriend to finish doing handyman type crap (currently, he’s installing an exhaust fan in the bar to combat the smokiness) around the house so we can watch movies (White Heat with Jimmy Cagney, The Enforcer with Humphrey Bogart and Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark [remakes] with Katie Holmes).

Wow. I just realized what a cozy, homey picture that paints.

And it’s about to get even cozier because his ex/baby momma, L (who had to move in when she lost her job and house), is finally moving out… and not just out of here, but out of the state! I hate how happy and excited I am about that because it’s exactly the way that girl, S, [that T cheated on me with] was when I moved out… and I am nothing like her; I never want to be anything like her. But, as you can imagine, L’s being here put a strain on our relationship and it’ll be a relief when she’s gone.

Speaking of gone, I still haven’t really dealt with my Dad’s death. I’m still just kind of pretending that it never happened and nothing has changed, but I know someday I will have to face it… and it’s going to be bad. I need to get an urn for his ashes, but I can’t afford one right now and that really bothers me. I think my mom is superstitious about having the ashes there with her (like it’s his ghost or something), so the sooner I take them, the better. I actually want them around. It will make me feel closer to him. I will probably talk to them/him. (Don’t judge!)

Mom is moving into a new apartment this weekend. She wasn’t on the lease with my Dad and she couldn’t afford that one by herself, so she’s basically skipping out… except they won’t be able to pursue her for anything and they’d have kept the deposit anyway, so no worries. Well, that’s not quite true; I do worry about her being alone. I looked at reviews and used my super secret contacts from my tenant screening days to make a list of complexes for her to check out. I’m really glad she chose my top pick. I wanted her to be in a cute, safe, affordable place in a familiar neighborhood. She needed to have a wash/dryer in the unit because she still gets easily winded/tired due to Renal Disease. She’s going to start dialysis soon, while waiting for a transplant. If an organ becomes available, she wouldn’t be able to carry laundry to and from a laundry room after surgery for quite a while and since she doesn’t drive, she couldn’t really get to an offsite laundromat regularly either. I also looked for communities that were on the busline, for those same reasons. That way, if she needs to go shopping somewhere or just wants to get out of the house for a while, she won’t have to depend on others all the time.
I did get upset though when she donated to Goodwill the stuff of my dad’s that I had specifically asked for… because I couldn’t get a ride out there on the day she wanted me to get it. Whatever. It’s done. There’s nothing I can do about it.

Work is alternating between some really scary moments and some really relaxing moments. They fired the new Accountant. I don’t know if she was overwhelmed and had trouble keeping up or if she was overwhelmed and got lazy, but she was late all the time, left early and called in sick a lot and they found out she had 10 days worth of checks in her car’s glove compartment waiting to be deposited. It makes me wonder about all those times she said she was “going to the bank.” Where did she really go? What did she really do?

They offered me a promotion last Tuesday. The wanted me to move off the front desk and go upstairs doing, as they put it, “customer service… working with clients.” They would discuss a pay raise after 90 days, if they were happy with my performance and if I was happy with the position. If not, I could move back downstairs to the front desk again. I agreed and we determined they’d hire a temp for the front desk and I’d start the new position Monday.

On Friday, they told me I would be handing maintenance, work orders and contractors instead. I didn’t really care, except I could see a few complications… I don’t really know much about home repair since I’ve never had a house and I only have a prepaid cell phone. I wouldn’t know the necessary terminology or best course of action to fix something and I might not even have enough minutes/funds left to respond to the calls. Also, with me camming online so many nights, I worried about what would happen if I were doing a show and the pager went off. I wouldn’t want to hurt my reputation or get chargebacks for stopping in the middle, nor would I want to cause liability issues for my employer. I explained this and said if they felt it wouldn’t be wise for me to transfer, toi ust let me know and I’d certainly understand.

On Saturday night, they texted me and asked me to call them before Monday. I didn’t get the text until the next day because T and I kind of have a policy of putting the cell phones away when we’re spending time together… and we were celebrating our 12 year anniversary. I didn’t have very much time/money left on my phone, so I borrowed someone else’s and tried to call. They didn’t pick up because they didn’t recognize the number and I didn’t leave a message since it wasn’t my phone and I shouldn’t really have them call me on it. I wondered if they were going to fire me because I wasn’t a good fit for what they wanted me to do or because they thought I ignored their text.

When I arrived on Monday, there was no temp, so I started working at the front desk as I would normally. I assumed they hadn’t found someone yet or the person hadn’t been able to start that particular day. Later that day, a young girl walked in and said, “Hi, I’m A,” as if I were supposed to know who she was. “Hello, how may I help you?” “I’m here to see < office manager >.” Oooook. Office Manager didn’t know her either. As it turns out, the boss hired her friend’s kid (A) to answer phones for me rather than a temp. I was told to start training her. I did, but I sort of wondered if I would be training my replacement and if they’d fire me once she knew the ropes. Hmmm.
I was called into a meeting shortly afterwards and they told me that since I wasn’t a good fit for the Maintenance Division, they came up with a special project for me instead. They wanted me to set up this [horrible] new Property Management software that we bought for $20,000 in 2007 and never used. They’d had five other people try configuring it over the past few years, but none of them could figure it out. Ugh. But, I am the most tech saavy person and I do like those sorts of tasks.
Rather than waiting for me to take the supplemental webinar (the next session wasn’t available for another 2 weeks), they had me begin the following day certain I could learn it all on my own just by looking around inside it. For the most part, I did, but it’s complicated, tedious, annoying and poorly designed, imo. Since no one told me the software has to be “compacted” each time you close it – not just “saved,” I lost everything I had done and the system locked me out. Tech support said the only way to even be able to log back in ever again was to restore a backup. They couldn’t tell me where to find one or how to restore it since they don’t install the software and that we’d have to contact our IT person to do it. Super! It cost just $110 for him to comne out and then $110 for each hour he’s there. (Dude totally milks the clock too!) To be honest, I don’t think we even DO backups on our peer to peer “server.” I’m probably going to have to start all over again. Grrrr. Fine. Job security + More time away from the phone, in my own private office with a window that has as lovely view of rows of pine trees divided by a little path, where I can crank up Pandora and while away the day doing computer stuffs. Fair enough.

Friday, they fired another employee. She’d been there 10 years. I don’t know what she did; I don’t think I _want_ to know. I did hear that “it was the worst insubordination in the history of the company” though. Considering the things I’ve seen go down without any sort of discipline, I can’t imagine what it was! I didn’t care for her much, but I felt bad that she got fired. Now I am the one with the most seniority and I won’t have to fight over vacation days. More job security? Gosh, I don’t even know what to make of it. For so many years no one did anything about the obvious staff problems. Now they suddenly care and people are dropping like flies? After she packed up and left I was also told another employee had given notice and would be leaving next week. Whoa!

I paused and took the cookies out of the oven a while ago. I deliberately didn’t cook them completely, so they are nice and chewy. I’ve already had 6 of them and I’m not sorry. I am, however, more than ready to cuddle on the couch. If I have to help finish the smoke eradicator project in order to make that happen, so be it. Farewell… for now.

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Sexpert Rachel Kramer Bussell was kind enough to send me a copy of her latest collection, Best Bondage Erotica 2012, for review! (Quite nice of her to sign it personally as well!)
I’m a fan in general of projects associated with her name, so in an attempt to be as unbiased as possible, as I sat down to read this one, I tried to keep in mind the reasons readers might choose the genre… What are their expectations and how well does the work meet them?

Erotic fiction tends to get shafted [pun intended?] when it comes to accolades in the literary world. However, I can’t sing the praises of those that wind up on Rachel Kramer Bussell’s radar enough! Typically overused porn vocabulary is kept to a minimum; this titillating collection is more than just a bunch of dirty stories – some fact, some fiction. There’s quite a bit beautiful prose herein. Standouts like Craig J. Sorensen’s “Worth Redemption,” Elizabeth Coldwell’s “A Night At The Opera” and Teresa Noelle Roberts’ “Suffer For Me” have an almost poetic flow, without sacrificing an ounce of horniness. Pieces like “Trophy Boyfriend” from Lucy Felthouse, “As Long As You Don’t Wake Me” by Neil Gavriel and “Knot Alone” by Kathleen Tudor have a real conversational and conspiratorial tone that draws you in.

While tastes vary, there’s enough variety to interest the merely curious, the novice and the initiated kinkster. Straight, gay, bisexual, voyeurism, exhibitionism, the physical aspect, the psychological aspect, couples, strangers and even the taboo topic of self bondage – Best Bondage Erotica 2012 delivers it all, complete with a foreward from rope bondage guru Midori.
I was particularly pleased to see both male and female writers represented. Also, as a nice change from the oft penned age play and cross dressing themes, quite a bit of Femme Domme tales featured, yet each still manages to incorporate some other kinky elements as well, thereby keeping it intriguing to those who aren’t necessarily into that particular scene. You’ll likely find yourself speculating about how the characters got onto this path, what they will do next and what happens to them after their tales have been told. That kind of connection, folks, is one of the hallmarks of a good book!
Whether you’re looking for masturbation material, some ideas to spice up your sex life or simply enjoy reading erotic fiction, Best Bondage Erotica 2012 meets expectations and then some!

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In the past I have said I don’t like to make “New Years Resolutions.” I think people get so caught up in the sense of “new-ness” or “starting over” that they tend to aim too high or take on too much, inevitably fail and then beat themselves up about it and/or make the same empty promises each year, accomplishing little. I feel it’s better for me to set a few reasonable goals for myself for the year. No pressure, no time limits – just try to do a few things differently, to improve, to do better, to incorporate some positive in my life. I know myself well enough to say what’s realistic and what isn’t. I’m also a fan of listmaking. So, here’s my list of realistic goals for 2012 and thoughts on each…

Personal Goals For 2012:

Shower daily (whether pm or am – no skipping days just because you didn’t sweat or don’t stink!)
This will make you feel better afterwards, even if you’re so tired/rushed you don’t think you can do it!

Brush teeth before bed [even if you’re too tired].
Remember Dentist is not an option for the uninsured living paycheck to paycheck.

Wash & moisturize face before bed nightly – no skipping!
This will still prevent breakouts and yet prime your face for makeup in the morning [since you’re usually too dry or too moisturized to apply if you wash in the am]. You’ll save money on face products when you don’t need anything for a ‘quick fix.’

Take multi-vitamin daily.
This is also something that will make you feel better and probably look better too!

Put on _some_ makeup in the morning before leaving for work.
A minimum of concealer, eyeshadow in the crease or lined eyes & lipgloss will make you feel more confident and look more professional. [You can add foundation and blush later or build up more color once you get to the office.]

Eat a big breakfast weekdays.
You won’t be so hungry the rest of the day and that should help w/ weightloss.

Drink more water.
Bonuses: Fewer headaches, less hunger, reduce fatigue, improved skin.

Cook dinner at home M – TH (buy groceries as needed; get only what can/will be used!)
This will help you curb eating junk and eating too late + you’ll stop wasting money on groceries you don’t end up using.

Find a way to use MyFreeCams (MFC) that is interesting, unique, sexy yet fun and somewhat/occasionally profitable.
Schedule hour long meet-n-greets/q&a periodically, do burlesque performances, makeup tutorials, artwork, play games. Promote, promote, promote!

Lifecast/lifelog more.
Share “currents” i.e. what you’re waering reading, watching, bought, doing, etc. Promote, promote, promote!

Complain less online.
This impacts fans and followers and self-loathing. You can still share your personality & life without ranting or whining every time.

Post at least one blog entry per week on my site and crosspost it to cw (since not everyone visits your site or lj).
This impacts the acquisition + retention of fans and followers. Promote, promote, promote!

Update public webcam weekly
This impacts the acquisition + retention of fans and followers. Promote, promote, promote!

Try to interact more (keep up w/ forums, reply to comments & tweets/DMs,)
This impacts the acquisition + retention of fans and followers. Promote, promote, promote!

Update website template seasonally and/or for holidays
Coding is good for you- it occupies time, it’s fun to announce new designs & it draws new & old people to your site. Promote, promote, promote!

Do something artistic more often (i.e. draw, paint, scrapbook, do collages, make jewelry, hair accessories, apparel, etc.)
This is always a nice distraction and something outside the norm. You can incorporate it into your blog and webcam too!

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My favourite time and setting in which to blog is over a leisurely coffee/breakfast, alone, in a quiet environment. I usually wake up with a clean slate emotionally and a head full of creative ideas. The combination enables me to word things just right and that in turn gives me the motivation to type them and bring them to fruition.

Today, I have been staring at a blinking cursor longer than I’d like to admit. I got up wanting some sunshine more than wanting to write (because it has been raining for several days), but my morning ritual started to get me there and in fact, the sun came out as I prepared things. As I switched on my laptop and sat down to eat/drink, the sun cruelly slipped behind the clouds and it promptly began raining again. It seemed like a metaphor for my life. *emo*

So, if the words won’t come today, I’ll think of those who inspire me and I can share something about them instead of just me, me, me.

These women all have something in common; they are beautiful, sexy women who create something special and radiate sincerity and strength.

Sunny of http://www.sunnycrittenden.com
Life-logging at it’s finest! She has a way of making the most mundane things seem absolutely fascinating… her language, her creativity, her heart, the way she puts it all out there for anyone to see… She makes people believe they can do it too- and that they should! When she says she’s a writer, artist and muse, she isn’t bragging; those are just the facts, ma`am! :P

Trixie of http://www.tastytrixie.com (NSFW)
If I were asked to name one person who led me to do what I do online, it would be Trixie. She is the perfect balance of fantasy and reality. I love when I find someone who can stimulate the mind and body concurrently. She’s the kind of person I am on my best days, the kind of person I want to be on my worst. I can’t say enough complimentary things about her. (It’s embarrassing, really.) I am a fan who would gush and stammer if I met her! :)

Mina of http://www.smokingmina.com (NSFW)
In a virtual sea of camgirls, webwhores, pornographers, “models,” and “performers,” she sets the bar high for those promising to interact. She’s amazing at bantering and making you feel like you’re an important part of her life. While she’s an ace at making it all look effortless, she’s also able to educate folks on just how much work it truly is without coming across as whining or condescending. She loves her work and it shows. I think even someone who isn’t necessarily into her niches can still appreciate how she incorporates artistry into smut ;)

“Juicy” of http://www.juicylittlefatgrl.com (NSFW)
She is like a superhero! She’s the most confident fat girl I have ever encountered, a ferocious fighter for fat acceptance and great defender of womankind! She is a self-shooter who can make her background look like a different room every photo set. Stellar lighting and set-design!

Muffin Von Chub* [tumblr] (NSFW)
(*Formerly Blu Velvet) A burlesque performer who knows her roots and can add a modern twist! I like looking at her so much that I couldn’t possibly omit mentioning her, ha! She’s so stylish, body-positive and fun!!!! She’s exactly the kind of friend I’d like to have IRL to go out drinking and shopping. There aren’t very many women about whom I can say that! :D

There. I feel a little better now.

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*I have two because I am going out two different nights to the same bar. (The Melody Inn has its annual “rip off,” where local bands dress as well known acts and cover their songs. This year features Afghan Whigs [!!!!!!!!], The Cure, The Cars, Van Halen, Meat Loaf, Fear, Bad Religion [!!!!!!!!], Ramones, Dead Kennedys, Metallica.)

Friday – Hello Kitty [Pic: http://twitpic.com/791shs]
Outfit: White Ears w/ Red Bow, Red Shift Dress, White Tights, Ruby Red Glitter Slippers, Hello Kitty purse
Makeup: White face paint, yellow [sideways] oval nose outlined in black, black oval eyes, 3 black whiskers on each side, no eyebrows (cover w/ white), no mouth (cover w/ white)

Saturday – Cleopatra [Pic: http://twitpic.com/7923qy]
Outfit: Muslin dress, gold/blue collar w/ matching sash, gold headpiece with beads, gold/blue wrist cuffs, gold/blue arm cuffs, metallic sandals, black cat purse
Makeup: blue eyeshadow wash with yellow highlight under brows and in inner corners, black eyeliner (“wings” extended into sideways triangles), deep currant lipstick, thick black slash brows

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Every time I think about this it makes me LOL. I can’t help but share.
I hope you all know I’m the furthest thing from homophobic, but the
stereotypical ‘gay sex in prison’ allusions always pop into my head
when I hear Jailhouse Rock by Elvis. Some of the lines get me giggling
like a juvenile:

“Little Joe was blowin’ on the slide trombone”
Kinda sounds like blowjob innuendo to me, but I know I have a dirty mind.

“The whole rhythm section was a purple gang”
Well, some people do associate purple with the queer community, so…

“Number 47 said to number 3, you’re the cutest jailbird I ever did see”
Ok, this one is self-explanatory!

“I sure would be delighted with your company”
Even when I was younger, I thought the line said “with you PUMPING
me.” Hahaha! I’ve always been a little sick, apparently!

“If you can’t find a partner use a wooden chair”
For what?! I guess the things I could do with a wooden chair solo
*cough… tribbing… cough* are a little different than the meaning
here!

“I wanna stick around a while and get my kicks”
This is, afterall, similar to “get my rocks off,” which is another way
of saying ‘have an orgasm!’

I’m sure in that era, these thoughts were not the first thing to pop
into people’s heads when they heard this song! I am well aware I’m
hyper-sexual and have a rather demented sense of humor at times! ;)

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I turn 34 on Tuesday the 11th. I think I’m okay with it, for the most part. I don’t really want to be an adult anymore, but that’s not something I can change, so… :P

If you’d like to send a gift, here is my Amazon Wishlist link: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/20XS24FVOU8O0/ref=cm_wl_sb?reveal=unpurchased&filter=all&sort=priority&layout=standard&x=11&y=5 . The items I would most like to have are any of the House Of Fluff T-shirts, Sims Fast Lane stuff, Sims Late Night, garter belts or stockings, Tablemate, the closet organizer or art supplies [i.e. canvas, thinner, easel], but you’re certainly welcome to choose something else. Cash is always good too, if you’d rather do that. Really, I’m quite grateful to receive anything at all! :)

So far, I am planning on celebrating a bit early – Saturday the 8th, at the reunion show for some local bands (Pizzle and The Mighty John Waynes) that were near-n-dear to me back in the day. I would, however, like to go out to dinner on my actual special day… maybe Santorini, Bravo, Olive Garden, Bonefish Grill or Red Lobster. We’ll see how that idea pans out. I wouldn’t mind doing a show on CW if I am well enough; I have been feeling a bit ill after work lately… I don’t think it’s serious- just minor aches/pains and general mental exhaustion, but I find I need to do as little as possible when I get home. How I wish I could go into work just an hour or two later! I think I’d feel much better!

That has me thinking about how I was born at 2:30am and my theory that has something to do with why I feel more alert later at night than I do during the day. It’s in my blood! ;)

Oh! Also on the subject of my birth… I might have mentioned this once, but I was very nearly named Sissy, Crystal, Ebony.

xo,
Anastacia

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[source: wikipedia]
“On February 2, 2007, Perry issued an executive order mandating that Texas girls receive HPV vaccine that protects against some strains of the human papilloma virus, a contributing factor to some forms of cervical cancer.[109] The order provided vaccination free of charge to those who were not covered by insurance, and included an opt-out provision for parents. At the time of the order, Gardasil, a newly approved drug manufactured by Merck, was the only HPV vaccine approved by the Food and Drug Administration. The move made national headlines, and apparent financial connections between Merck and Perry were reported by news outlets, such as a $6,000 campaign contribution and Merck’s hiring of former Perry Chief of Staff Mike Toomey to handle its Texas lobbying work and Perry’s “current chief of staff’s mother-in-law, Texas Republican state Rep. Dianne White Delisi (as) state director for Women in Government.”
Perry’s decision was criticized by some social conservatives and parents due to concerns about possible moral implications of the vaccine and safety concerns. On February 22, 2007, a group of families sued in an attempt to block Perry’s executive order.
In May 2007, the Texas Legislature passed a bill to undo Perry’s executive order. Perry did not veto it, saying the Legislature would have sufficient time and votes to override his veto.

This week, Rick Perry got called out by Michele Bachmann for that. I, however, applaud him for the idea.
There was an opportunity to opt out, so what is the problem?! I was in middle school (around 7th/8th grade) when I lost my virginity. If people are naive enough to believe kids that young aren’t engaging in sexual acts, they are sorely mistaken and placing their kids in danger. (On a related note, Abstinence Only programs are even more dangerous!)
The bottom line: Kids are fucking. Should they? No. Can you stop them? Not likely. Should you do everything in your power to protect the “young and dumb” from winding up with an std? You’d better believe it!
This seems like a no-brainer. Baffling. Saddening. Bravo, Religious Right!
(Sidenote: If the “real” issue is Perry’s dealings with the drug manufacturer… you’d be surprised at how many politicians have stock or friends in the pharmaceutical industry and how many political figures are offered positions with them once they are out of office. I don’t think any of them are immune to being swayed by those factors, but occasionally some good comes out of it nonetheless.)

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I’m home early. You see, because of my hellishly stressful & verbally abusive job, my weekends need to be for fun and relaxation or I’m going to become both physically and mentally ill. (Maybe that sounds ridiculous, but I suspect that if you were screamed at several times a day, every day, by a multitude of people, for things that have absolutely nothing to do with you in any way, shape or form, you’d feel this way too after five straight years of it!)
So, anyway, on the weekends I like to spend time with my Boyfriend to unwind. You know, we snuggle on the couch and watch movies, go shopping together, make dinner together, have sex. Well, rather, we SHOULD be doing those things. However, since his ex (his daughter’s babymama) moved in yet AGAIN because she got fired yet AGAIN, we’re not doing much of any of them. (BTW, This is the THIRD time this has happened! I found the last time I wrote about this loser: http://tousledelegance.livejournal.com/262130.html)

I don’t think many women could or would put up with this type of situation.

L has to go outside to smoke every 30 minutes [or more] and walks across the tv, interrupting our view. (I don’t know how someone unemployed spends so much on cigarettes, but that’s not the point. She could go out another door, but noooo.) And, of course, on her way back, she reeking of smoke, has to stop and talk to/pet the cats, causing us to miss dialogue every time. She’s in and out the door to smoke at all hours and each time the door opens or closes it shakes the entire house. We can’t sleep like that, constantly being woken up by it. I used to like to sit in the rocking chair on the porch for a little solitude, but every fucking time I do, she comes out. No solitude for me! Hell, every time I want to go to the bathroom there, brush my teeth or take a shower, someone is in it or needs to come in; I can’t even get any alone time in there!

L’s supposed to be “earning her keep” by making dinner and doing the dishes. That would be a great arrangement except for the fact that nothing T has in the house or buys is good enough for her. Miss Unemployed, irresponsible, lazy, free-loader is in no position to be picky and choosy yet, she won’t use canned goods, frozen goods, anything that isn’t “her” brand or make anything that doesn’t have meat in it (because she says she needs protein in her food). Sounds like she’s all health-conscious, right? Yet, she puts a shit-ton of butter, sugar and cream in everything! She loves to tell T what he is doing wrong and how SHE does it or what SHE uses.

After meals she cooks, I usually offer to do the dishes and she turns me down saying she has her own system. Ok. Maybe. I guess that system is leaving them sitting through several more meals until there’s no more clean silverware left to use and then complaining about how much work there is to do! Yeah, a half hour of dish washing is so much more work than those of us putting in 40 hour weeks at the office, eh?

As if L weren’t bad enough to have to deal with, ever since her mother has moved in, the girl (C) has been nothing but a little bitch to everyone except her Mom. Anything that comes out of C’s mouth is some snotty, know-it-all retort. (Actually, she sounds just like her mother! LOL!)
The bus stops right outside the house, yet C refuses to take it and expects him to drop whatever he is doing/totally rearrange his plans and take her somewhere immediately or worse, go get something for her right now, while she’s busy texting or playing on the internet and just _has_ to stay there to do that. (And he DOES, which sets the example that throwing a fit gets you your way!) He asks her to do her chores and she is “busy” “petting the cat” or watching a movie, doing her nails, has plans etc etc. She says she’ll “do it later.” He gets furious because, despite having reminded her several times, she claims she “forgot” and of course, by that time it is too late for her to do them because she has school the next day, so she gets out of it completely. Nice strategy! If C doesn’t get her way, she either turns it into a shouting match or cries. He ends up doing her chores himself or doing whatever it is she wants. (Again, great example! I guess I’m getting old, because in my days, we would have at the very least had privileges taken away for stuff like she pulls.)

Today, I had enough and so I decided to do something about it.

T, myself and the girl are doing dishes while L is in church (*snort*). Any idiot knows it doesn’t take 3 people to do dishes! But, ok, I know he’s set it up that way purposely. Then, C will actually do it and do it now because she has someone helping her (*ahem* lazy, spoiled) and it’s kind of “all in this together” scenario. He’s washing. She’s rinsing. I’m… putting the dishes in the drainer…? She put on my gloves. (Ok, fine, she can use them, I guess. Wish she’d asked though!) Then, I have to go upstairs to her room to collect the dishes she and her friends used and didn’t bother to bring down because she’s busy rinsing. Fine. Whatever. lazy… sense of entitlement… Ok.
The water coming out of the tap is so hot that it is actually steaming and the steam is hovering over that side of the sink. It is really heating up the dishes too! C can’t feel it because, obviously, she is wearing my gloves. I, however, have burned my hand twice now on the hot metal pots and pans she’s given me. I go over and add a little bit of cold water to the stream coming from the faucet. She make some sort of huffing noise at me. I say, “sorry, the dishes were so steaming hot that they were burning my hands.” (There were no towels left for me to use to protect my hands and C had on the only pair of gloves.) Then she makes it a point to walk around me to put the next dish in the rack herself, cutting me out of the “assembly line.” I figure she was just hurrying to get done and forgot to hand it to me in her rush to get it over with. I hold out my hands for the next one, indicating I’m still here and ready and willing to help. Then, she does it again. I can tell by her body language that this is deliberate and kinda malicious, really. I say, “well, I guess I’m done here” and I go upstairs. When I get to the top, I hear her telling T that I am “such a child” blah, blah, blah. That pisses me off! I shout down, “for not wanting to burn my fucking hand?” I go into the bedroom, marveling at the ridiculousness of being called a child for turning the cold water on a 1/4 to prevent myself from being scalded. She stomps upstairs after they are done and slams her door.

Well, that’s the last straw for me. I pack my backpack and tell T I’m going home because I’m tired of being treated like this when I am working so hard to be nice to everyone in a bad situation. He wouldn’t speak up for me, he just stood there and let that little brat act like this, just like he does all the time. Now it is 100 times worse with L living there too!
You know, I don’t ask for much and, consequently, that’s what I get- not much… except aggravation. It isn’t worth it. He can come over and see me at my apartment if he wants to spend some time together. Obviously, that is the only way we’re ever going to have any enjoyment until he can man up and stop letting everyone run roughshod over him (and his guest!) in his own home.

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With the Craigslist kidney story hitting the news, I guess it is a good time to share mine. I haven’t told anyone this yet, well, except my Boyfriend, who was there when I found out a few weeks ago.

My Mom is going to be placed on the waiting list for an organ transplant. As if that weren’t < insert negative adjective here > enough, I inquired about being tested to see if I am a match and discovered I am not illegible to donate at all because I have gall stones and periodontal disease. I took it for granted that it was just a matter of the organ itself being in good shape, but as it turns out, not only could harvesting it be dangerous to me, my Mom would face a greater risk of rejection because of those two conditions.

Even though we knew there was always a possibility she might need a transplant someday, it doesn’t make it any easier now. Also, I feel like I failed her by not taking care of myself well enough to be able to help her.

This is really hard to talk about… That’s why it took me a while to mention it and why this entry isn’t longer or more detailed.
Since I’m an Atheist, I’m not going to ask for prayers :P However, if you’ve ever given thought to making a charitable contribution to medical research, please visit: The National Kidney Foundation, or for information on becoming a Living Donor, check out TransplantLiving.org.

Thanks for reading.

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