I often wrestle with the vanity aspect of this site. Sometimes I can’t believe anyone would be interested in anything I have to say; other times I can totally relate to such a fascination because of the personal blogs that I enjoy too. Striking the balance between documenting and sharing my life versus marketing and advertising it has always been a precarious balancing act for me.

There’s also the matter of my personal life and deciding how much of it I want/need, to “protect” (for lack of a more apropos word). When things are good, it seems easy, yet < insert negative adjective here > to gloss over them. When things are bad, it is cathartic, yet excessively emo to spill it here.

I also have that sense of living life in a bubble. Meaning, I assume (in part because I’ve been doing this for so many years) that everyone already knows what’s going on in my life or what I’ve been doing lately and the redundancy of posting about it here irks me ever so slightly… like when I see the same info posted on someone’s blog, twitter, Facebook and in forums. I sometimes feel it’s too much; other times I feel it’s necessary because the web is such an infinite place.

Of course, all of this is just another indicator of one of my major flaws- I overanalyze. I would never have thought it possible to think too much; I believe that pop culture is numbed and dumbed. TMZ, Starbucks, McDonalds, The Bachelor… they all leave a sour taste in my mouth, but I still consume them. Why do I/should I feel such guilt for it? As different from everybody else as I am, I’m also still the same. Why? Intriguing parallel, really… to me, anyway.

Point being, I still have a lot to learn about integrating the writing I do for myself and the writing I do for the world at large. Or, maybe I am just restless and coming down with a case of Spring Fever?

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kevin writes: When Camwhores started, it was completely free. Anyone could watch, anyone could chat, there was no such thing as a membership.

As Camwhores grew, we listened to what you guys wanted. We removed all the crazy popup ads that we were once known for. The *nine* banner ads that used to be on the front page are gone, replaced with just one that’s only visible if you’re not a member. This, along with adding features that cost us actual money (paying the lovely cammers here for shows and the like) meant that we had to start charging for memberships. To the subscribers we have now, we are extremely thankful. We wouldn’t be here without you guys.

Over the years, we focused so much on obtaining more members and trying to make our current members happy that we lost a bit of focus on what a non-member to Camwhores saw. Prior to today, non-members could only view the site for a few minutes without ads being thrown in their faces. Every 20-30 clicks on the site would result in more ads. Frankly, this sucked. Going forward, we’re committing to make the site as un-annoying as possible to everyone, including those who haven’t chosen to subscribe.

But, our biggest change is what we’re doing with members who let their accounts expire. Effective immediately, if your account expires, you can still hang out on the site.

Expired accounts will now be able to:
* Log in to the site normally
* Chat on the tagboard
* View the cam archives
* Participate in the forum
* Create a profile
* Post on your blog, or comments on other’s blogs.

An expired account cannot:

* Watch streaming video (due to the bandwidth expenses)
* See members only cams (to comply with the agreement we have with our cammers)
* Vote on pictures/cams

Expired accounts that stay on the front page for more than 4 hours without moving or saying anything will be redirected to a non-updating page, to help preserve our bandwidth when people walk away from their computers. You can re-join the main page with one click.

While some of the details will need to be tweaked going forward, this currently applies both to paid customers and free trial accounts after they expire. When either account expires, you’ll be able to stay on the site as an “expired user” for at least 90 days with the above restrictions.

No changes are being made to what paid customers get, you get EVERYTHING you had before with no exceptions.

We’re hoping this makes the site friendlier for everyone, and less money driven. We’re here for fun, not trying to suck subscription funds out everyone who wants to watch. Just because someone can’t afford a subscription today doesn’t mean we don’t want them here.

 Now, I have 4 free trial invites. If you want one and you promise not to be a jerk while on the site, email tousledelegance AT gmail.com. I would especially like to see some of the old members come back!

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The big news: The site has been sold; Stile is no longer associated with it. The new owners (who also own MyFreeCams.com) have given the reins to our beloved Kevin. He truly feels that we can find a happy medium again for nude/non-nude cams and for those that want to make some money and those that just want to have a fun. I trust him implicitly and I really look forward to the changes that are to come. It feels better there already. (I love having the ability to vote for my friends again, for example.)
If you are a former cammer that left because you weren’t enjoying yourself anymore or because you had issues with the management, please seriously consider adding your cam again. (Prior members who left for some of the same reasons, please consider giving the site another chance! So many of us have such a good feeling about this!) Note: If you were a cammer on the site previously, you will be placed back on the main page straight away; you will not have to go through the “Wanna-be” voting process.

As a promotion, I have been given some invites for Camwhores.com.
They are for a no strings, 7 day free trial of the site. No credit card needed.

The only requirements are:
- You are over 18.
- You haven’t been a Camwhores member in over 90 days.
- You haven’t used your email address for a CW trial previously.
- You promise not to be an asshole on the site.

The trial gives you access to 686,568+ cam images and 1072+ hours of video of 200+ camgirls. You’ll also have the ability to chat and watch live shows. It’s not just “free porn” though; there is a definite ‘community’ feel to the website with nude and non-nude girls that don’t think of every member as a human ATM. I think you’ll like it enough to want to continue visiting. I’m so addicted, I’ve been there since 2002!
This offer is first come, first served. When they are gone, they are gone! If you’d like an invite, please email me (anastaciaATtousledelegance.net). Thanks!

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I will, really and truly, be updating my links list on TousledElegance.net sometime this month. If you’d like your site, blog, store or something added, please let me know and I’ll take a look at it. If it isn’t filled with hate or avarice, it’ll probably get the green light.

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***

Browser: over 80% of my visitors use Internet Explorer. Surprisingly, Netscape is the next most used at 12%. Firefox is only slightly above 6%. The others are only a fraction of a percent. This makes me sad. Before I started using Wordpress, I used to focus on cross-browser compatibility. It was frustrating, especially when coding by hand in notepad, but I know I learned a lot that way. I feel like I’ve been lured out of the loop by convenience. By today’s design standards, I would suck.

OS: Almost 90% of my visitors use Windows… XP, 98 and NT- in that order, but Vista is only a fraction of a percent. Oddly enough, the next most popular operating system among them is “unknown.” In the list of unknowns, many appear to be mobile users. (The future of the web?) Mac users account for less than one percent. There are even some Playstation and Wii visitors. Neat!

Countries: Most viewers are from the US, France, Canada, Netherlands, China, Germany, Great Britain, South Korea and Russia. I know my geography, but there is one country I did not recognize- Brunei Darussalam, which Google indicates is in Southeast Asia, on the Island of Borneo. Wow.

Referrers: Most of my hits come from Steph The Geek’s, Adorable Audrey’s and Sybil Hawthorne’s sites. All girls I love, so this pleases me. I really don’t see anything that shouldn’t be there or that alarms me…. no unauthorized hotlinks or government agencies, as I might have a few years ago.

Search Key Phrases: They are telling this month, with most being foot fetish related :) Many people, apparently, also want to know “does faiuruza balk wear thongs?” If you can confirm that, please let me know, haha! Several visitors were also looking for “sexy navajo chicks,” but unfortunately did not find any on my site. :P Some were also hoping to find former Camwhores Selvios and Verotika. Sorry! Those wanting Juicy Little Fat Grl, did find a link to her though! :)

Pages: My rss feed and webcam pages are the most popular, as expected. A lot of people look into contacting me, but don’t. Understandable given that I rarely use instant messengers or chat and I can be slow to respond to emails when I don’t know what to say.

***

I guess I am a nerd, because I find this data absolutely fascinating. It excites me. It makes me speculate. It makes me want to create. It makes me want to be more active and update more often. I probably should not be looking at it, heh!

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Fair question. Astute even. I confess, I am amused at their need for sexual gratification and willingness to do a variety of things for it. Is that cruel? Is that abusive? I don’t taunt them about it or berate them for it. I don’t take advantage of their needs/wants.I don’t view them as my ATM. I provide a service to them and they provide something to me in return which is of equal or lesser value, depending upon whom you ask. The fact that I use the internet as safe and convenient social and sexual stimulation is almost definitely a form of detachment. I realize that. I admit that the ability to click away from someone/something or turn off the computer at will is a draw for me. However, I don’t think that means I don’t see or refuse to see the human element when I am ‘doing my thing.’ I am totally cognizant that I have a thinking, feeling person on the other end. (I guess you could say I give what I get. Treat me well and I will treat you well.) Also, I find there’s no hard and fast rule about these men. There are nuances to each one and that’s a bonus for someone like me who is fascinated by what makes people tick.You know, there are occasionally moments when I feel like a psychologist. I listen to problems (or desires) and offer feedback. I care. I have even been guilty of caring too much. Sometimes, I share some of my own personal issues with them.
I set boundaries though. I never thought of that as being disrespectful to others. It is for my physical safety…. because you never truly know who is on the other end. It is a precautionary measure rather than an insensitivity. It isn’t about denying them something and LOL-ing over it. There’s no element of “look what you can’t have” going on, no proverbial dangling of juicy carrots in front of the hungry donkey or wily cat chasing helpless mice. Any teasing is requested and consensual. If it weren’t, I would not be engaging in it. That’s Integrity. Not all Camgirls have it. I do. Perhaps my code of ethics causes me to miss out on a piece of the pie, but that particular virtue is much more important to me than $$$$. Who’da thunk it- a sex worker with “morals!” There are more of us than one might guess. But, then, there’s almost always more to people than meets the eye.
I hope my tone has not been misinterpreted as defensive, but surely you can imagine the stigma that so often comes with being involved in the porn industry. It is difficult to hear the erroneous assumptions and brash generalizations day in, day out, with so few speaking out loudly and intelligibly enough to truly be heard. But there are always deaf ears. Actually, I am thankful for the opportunity to express myself this way.

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I know I have been mentioning my birthday a lot, sorry! I guess I am fixated on it since I’ve had so many sad ones the last few years – I would really like to have a happy/fun one to remember. This one in particular is kind of difficult for me. Turning Thirty was fine, easy, whatever… but Thirty-One has me feeling old and ugly. I know I *look* much younger than I am, but I *feel* worn. (I’m not fishing for compliments, so please don’t.) I still don’t have any plans to celebrate on Saturday, though I did apply for the Match Game panel on Rude. I have the house to myself and would like to do something silly at home by myself… Just not sure what yet. Hrm.

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